FIRST VOGEL REUNION
June, 1982. Grand Rapids, Michigan
Bill, Grant, Trudy, Lefty, Dena, Harry, Martin
Who were they?
That maniac who brought his boat roaring full throttle in to the dock…
The man who yanked the refrigerator out of a rented trailer…
The lady who kept the entire camp awake most of the night…
The uncle who fed ashes and pebbles to baby birds…
The young woman who leaped into the lake when she had to go to the
bathroom…
And the baffled psychologist who observed all of this and shook his
head
sadly…
They were Vogels..
And why not? It was the Vogel family reunion.
The idea for the reunion had been born long ago: It had simmered
slowly,
been warmed in the round-robin letters that circulated among the
brothers
and sisters. Tentative suggestions had become firmer suggestions; the
idea grew steadily past the dream stage, and finally became realty.
The reunion took place June 9, 10, and 11, 1982, at Brouwer Park, near
Grand Rapids, Michigan. The 200- acre park, four miles west of Stanwood
on the Muskegon River, has many sandy beaches, 8000 feet of river
frontage, 230 modern campsites with water and electrical hookups, a
boat
ramp and many other recreational facilities. Trailers had been rented
for
those who didn’t bring their own Rvs. It was a delightful setting for
a
delightful occasion, and everything came off smoothly-- thanks to the
hard work and planning of Left and Betty, Harry and Betty, and Trudy
and
Fletch. The Grand Rapids Vogels had made all arrangements, attended to
all details, had even arranged for interesting weather--a bit of rain,
cool invigorating breezes, and one absolutely perfect day of sunshine.
Those in attendance were the Vogels--Dena, Martin, Grant, Bill, Harry,
Lefty and Trudy; their spouses; and some of their children and
grandchildren, with some of their spouses.
And which were the Vogels about whom the psychologist was to concerned?
Well, the speed demon was Lefty.
The refrigerator-yanker was Bill.
The pebble-feeder was--no, you’ll have to guess.
The lake-jumper--Carol, Lefty’s daughter.
The lady who had to be shushed by the ranger? That was no lady; that
was
Shirl, Martin’s daughter.
And the psychologist (who probably is still pondering the whole thing)
was John, Andy’s son.
The first hour of the reunion was bedlam--relatives to be greeted,
sites
to be selected, RVs to be parked, newcomers to be hailed as they
arrived.
A huge area had been reserved, so that all Vogel RVs could be parked
near each other, ringed by the many other campers in the park. Groups
got together excitedly, to embrace, to chat, to exclaim, to exchange
news, to show pictures, to take pictures, and to await whoever would
arrive next. There were many surprises--relatives who hadn’t seen each
other for years, some who had never seen each other before, some who
had
come unexpectedly; and stories many had never heard.
Vogels kept arriving, until almost all of them were present.
But where was Martin?
Finally Grant phoned Martin’s son Del, who said Martin had left a long
long time ago, and should have arrived by now.
Worry, worry.
Eventually, hours late, a magnificent motor home rolled it. And from it
descended a magnificent fivesome--Martin, Wilma, their daughter Shirl,
her husband Jack, and his son Tobin. Jack admitted, under some
prodding,
that they had come by way of a scenic detour.
The drama of the reunion began at once. Trudy’s daughter Connie came
running in to report that something in her trailer was saying “Cheep,
cheep,” and she didn’t think this was a reference to the quality of
the
trailer, either; she thought it meant that something alive was trapped
inside the walls. Or maybe that the trailer was haunted.
An investigation ensued. Everyone crowded into Connie’s trailer and
listened. Sure enough: twittern twitter, cheep cheep. Everyone took a
turn at tapping, testing, thumping, and listening. And finally the
diagnosis seemed certain: a nest of baby birds. Obviously this
particular trailer hadn’t been used for a long time; it had been left
in
one place for weeks, and a pair of birds had built a nest, only to have
the whole thing suddenly pulled away from them. The nest was in an
almost
inaccessible spot; the parent birds had been getting to it through the
refrigerator vent on top of the trailer.
Much consternation, much consultation, and many attempts to get at the
nest. But it was totally inaccessible. The babies were soundly stuck in
the wall behind the refrigerator, and there was absolutely no way to
get
at them They would starve.
But Connie stated firmly that the babies would NOT starve; if nothing
else, the trailer would have to be moved back to where it had been
originally, so the parent birds could resume taking care of their
babies.
After much discussion, much getting-together of heads ( and even a few
mutterings that a good spraying with Raid might solve the whole
problem)
a solution was found. Bill, with tools, muscle power, and skill
proceeded
to take out the refrigerator. Everyone hung over him, watching and
waiting excitedly. Suspense filled the air; this was like opening a
Christmas stocking--what would be found?
Not surprisingly, it was a nest of baby birds--starlings. Connie‘s
little
daughter Charity was enraptured; at last the reunion, which until now
hadn’t seemed a very interesting or worthwhile project, made sense to
her. Immediately she established that she wanted to take the birds home
with her after the reunion; Connie agreed, although she was a little
doubtful as to what Daddy’s reaction might be.
Then for a while Connie was very busy, preparing a bed for the birds
and
finding worms and other delicacies for them. While she wasn’t watching,
a
prankish uncle playfully dropped cigarette ashes and tiny pebbles into
those unsuspecting little wide open mouths. (If thy baby bird ask for
worms, wilt thou give it a stone? Apparently so.) Fortunately for the
birds, Connie didn’t let them out of her sight for long at a time, and
they survived. And everyone--with the possible exception of this uncle,
who shall remain nameless--was delighted, and oozed and aahed over
these
latest little vogels to arrive at the rrenion.
The reunion-goers were made up of three principal groups: the Vogels;
their spouses (hereinafter referred to as the in-laws); and their
offspring (hereinafter referred to as the cousins).
Among each of these groups a strong separate theme, a unity of feeling,
seemed to emerge and develop. Among the Vogels, the feeling was joy at
being together again, joy because the reunion had finally worked out.
Joy
because all of the beloved brothers and sisters were together again.
Among the in-laws, there was a sharing of this feeling, and more
besides.
They discussed the hazards, pitfalls, and surprises inherent in being
married to Vogels. Most of the inlaws, and at least one cousin, agreed
that the Vogels have one trait in common: they are RIGHT. This
discovery
had been made by each of these in-laws separately over the years, and
now
they compared notes--giving examples with fondness or affection or
exasperation. In any discussion, it was agreed, the Vogels are right;
and
no amount of argument, persuasion or reason will have any effect.
Among the cousins, the prevailing feeling was one of astonishment and
relief at discoveries that were made. In the atmosphere of sharing and
revealing, skeletons came tumbling and toppling out of closets, and
cousin after cousin learned for the first time that others too had
fallen
off the straight and narrow path. Besides relief, there was a little
resentment at having been kept in the dark. One cousin wondered aloud
why
she hadn’t been informed of any of this before, why she had been
allowed
to bear the burden of thinking she was the only black sheep in the
entire
virtuous family. Keeping secrets in an attempt to preserve the good
name
of a family is perhaps understandable, the cousins agreed--but honesty
is
better.
For three days people ate, drank and were merry. Small groups got
together and talked, big groups got together and talked; everyone
changed
partners and talked some more. Some people went boating, some played
golf, some lazed on the grass. There were marshmallows and wieners,
and
tales told around the campfire. There was food, food, food, provided by
the Grand Rapids people, who had gone far beyond the call of duty in
making plans and preparations for every detail of the stay.
Each moment of each day and night, something was happening. There was
Lefty, bringing his boat back to the dock at top speed. A cable to the
throttle had broken; he had replaced it with a rope, and now he
couldn’t
control his speed; it was come in full throttle or not at all.
There was Grant , in another boat, with a different problem. He had to
come in slowly or not at all. He came creeping back to the dock,
conserving fuel, and he barely made it. He had assumed that because the
other pontoon boat had two gas tanks, this one did also. But it didn’t;
it had only one, and that one was almost empty.
There were Harold and Fletch, wearing wigs, making grabs at each other,
with photographers clustering around recording their outraged
expressions. To know Fletch is to love him; to watch him dissolve into
helpless laughter over the absurdity or pointlessness or inevitability
of
something is to love him more.
There was Nancy, with her arm in a sling, claiming throughout the
reunion
that she had a possibly-broken wrist. Well, maybe. For sure, she was
getting out of a lot of work, and people were performing all kinds of
little serviced for her--cutting up her food, tying her shoes, etc.
Strangely, she resisted all attempts to get her to go to see a doctor,
thus adding to the general skepticism about this whole sorry affair.
There was Martin, coming up behind Dena to hug her as she stood
listening
to a group. Without turning to see who it was, she squeezed his hands.
“Don’t you even want to know who’s hugging you?” he demanded. “No,” she
said. “It feels so good I don’t even care.”
There was Shirl, whose fascinating conversations and monologues around
the campfire held everyone spellbound--and even captured the attention
of
the park ranger. “Aha,” he said. “So you’re the one whose voice
carries
so far. There have been complaints, you know. It’s after midnight, and
people would like to sleep.“ Quickly Shirl said, “If we go to bed right
now are we forgiven?“ (What you mean we, Shirl?) The ranger conceded
that
he supposed so. Everyone was quite disappointed; there had been hopes
that she’d be popped into jail. Or made an example of in some amusing
way.
Those who attended the reunion only part of the time, and/or who cane
to
the June 12 picnic, which was the grand finale, were John and Arlene
Baas, Fred and Esther Feikema, Steve White, Martin and Marie Van
Vuuren,
Milton amd Dorothy Van Vuren, Art and Rena De Vries, Bill and Bertha
Boukama, Elizabeth Vander Steen, Sid and June Vander Wal, Joe Uchima,
Debbie Vogel and Greg Vogel.
And here’s a view of the reunion through the eyes of most of the people
who attended:
Bonnie Noel (Trudy’s daughter): I came here with a need to see these
people again, to see why I am the way I am. I feel different from my
friends; I feel Midwestern. I feel that I have more common sense. I
feel
that I am more stable. I think the Vogel family’s stability is so
wonderful-- the stability of the uncles and Dena, I mean, not my
immediate family. I’ve found it to be what I remembered--except that
now
I can talk to my aunts and uncles on a deeper and adult level. I
wouldn’t have been able to face them right after my divorce, but now I
haven’t felt any sense of disapproval.
Betty (Harry’s wife): It’s been nice after all these years to get a
chance to talk to certain ones I haven’t really known before. It’s
surprising to find out how much they think alike, Usually there’s so
much
rush; this time we can take our time talking to people. It’s been
especially nice to see Dena; we don’t get to see her very often. We
don’t
get to see Martin and Wilma much either, and we would have liked to
spend more time with them. We’ve often thought how good the round robin
is; without something like that, no one would know what’s happening in
each family. The main thing that occurs to me about the reunion is that
it would have been nice to have it earlier when my mother was alive.
Harold (Bill’s son-in-law: It’s been great.
Wilma (Martin’s wife): Speaking as an in-law, I’d say this is one
family
that IS a family, with lots of love and respect for each other. I know
of
no other family that has so much of oneness. It’s been beautiful
getting
together and learning to know each other and to see some people that we
haven’t seen for years. We’ve all changed a lot, but our love hasn’t
changed.
Martin: This reunion is wonderful; I really never thought we’d pull it
off. I certainly wanted it to happen, at least once in my lifetims, but
I
didn’t honestly think we’d be able to get everybody together at once.
We’re having a terrific time, I will always remember this as the
highlight of 1982. And we certainly want to thank the Grand Rapids
people
for organizing it and for feeding us.
Grant: My comments are probably the same as everyone’s--this is a
beautiful spot, and it’s just great that all of us could have this
opportunity to get together. And it’s nice that so many of the children
and grandchildren came. It would have been nice if even more could have
made it. As Martin said, we’ve been talking about a reunion for several
years, but didn’t think it would jell. And now it’s rather sad that
it’s
coming to an end so soon. I’m hoping the pictures will turn out well,
and
we’ll have a lot of good pictures to remember it by.
Betty (Lefty’s wife): I was surprised and pleased that so many nieces
and nephews wanted to come, since it was originally for the brothers
and
sisters. Everyone seems to be getting along fine. One thing that
surprised me is how much the Vogels all look alike as they get
older--except Dena.
Chuck Brinks (Andy’s son-in-law): I think it’s tremendous, really. I
mentioned this to the people where I work and they were really quite
amazed that relatives would come from all over the country for a
get-together like this. I have enjoyed it, and haven’t felt left out. I
had been conditioned to like the Vogels, and now that I have met them
all, I still like them. With some families, after three days of being
together, there’d be some animosities, but not here. And that’s not
surprising. I expected everyone to have a good time.
Dena: We have anticipated this for a couple of years already. It’s
almost
like the Lord had led us here. Where else could we have gone? And all
arrived safely. I just tell Walter the Lord provided. In a family this
size, not all would be able to come to another reunion. The next
reunion
will probably be in Heaven, and I hope and pray that none will be
missing. Andy gave a beautiful testimony the last time I saw him; we
had
come to see him in the hospital. “I am so tired,” he said. “I want to
go
home.“ I said, “Where to?” and he said, “Either to Hudsonville or to
my
home in Heaven. I prefer going home to the Lord.” Oh, that just meant
everything to me; now we know we will meet him again. And we are
looking
forward to seeing Leroy there too.
Walt (Dena’s husband): I have enjoyed this very much. It seems to be a
very cooperative group, well organized; everyone is agreeable, there is
no dissatisfaction. It brings back past memories, pleasant memories and
associations. What I feel is just plain satisfaction and enjoyment.
We
are very thankful that all can be here and all seem to enjoy the
blessings of good health and fellowship.
John (Andy’s son): The main thing I notice is the basic warmth and
concern and goodness of everyone in the family; secondly, that this
closeness has survived in spite of rather fantastic geographical
separation. Driving up here, I was apprehensive, Part of my
apprehension
was because I am here to represent my father, and I had sensed that
they
missed him very much.. But I quickly became very comfortable. The
Vogels,
I would say, have objectivity and at the same time a real respect for
the
old family values. They cam talk about their grandfather’s values with
respect and objectively. I think this family allows for a lot of
divergence.
Virginia (Andy’s daughter-in-law): I think the idea of having a reunion
is good. As we get older we tend to search out our roots. I’m still a
bit
confused as to whose children are whose. But everyone is very
compatible.
I think it’s fine that we made this effort to get together, especially
since John has only one sister. Also, I’ve been surprised our son is
as
comfortable here as he is, because he doesn’t know any of these people
either. I enjoyed talking with Helen; I hadn’t known her before.
Everyone
has made us feel comfortable. And a lot of credit is due to Harry and
Lefty and everyone who helped.
John Andrew (Andy’s grandson): All of a sudden I feel like I am part of
the Vogel family; I never did before, even though my name is the same
as
that of the father of this whole group. I used to be more proud of my
middle name, but now I am more proud of my last name, It’s amazing how
quickly you can form friendships and get along with people you haven’t
seen in fifteen years. I’ve enjoyed it; it’s a good end to the school
year.
Joyce Brinks (Andy’s daughter): I think the reunion is just wonderful,
and I guess the surprise is that it’s even better than I thought it
would
be. And another surprise is that we all get along so well together,
and
there is so much love in this family. They all mean so much to me
personally--I suppose because my parents are gone. I’m real thrilled
with
the fact that we’re all getting to know each other, because the way
we’re
all spread around the country doesn’t allow us to get together much.
Now
it’s almost to the point we can consider these people friends as well
as
relatives--and a real special thanks to Harry and Lefty for putting it
all together.
Trudy: It’s been great fun, and we should do it more often. Always,
when
we get together, we let loose and have a super-great time. Because we
are a close family even though we don’t see each other much. I enjoyed
everything, but especially the chance to see the nieces and nephews
that
I haven’t seen for so long. We haven’t kept in touch. I feel the nieces
and nephews among themselves are getting as much out of this reunion as
the brothers and sisters. My only disappointment is that more couldn’t
be
here.
Helen (Bill’s wife): I’ve enjoyed everything the way it is. It’s been
nice seeing everyone. It seems everyone’s having a good time, having
fun
talking and listening. Nothing about them seems so much different.
They all seem the same. Of course we see most of them quite often. It
was
nice meeting John and Virginia and Fletch.
Sharon (Bill’s daughter): I think this reunion was a real good idea,
and
I’m glad we came. I would not want to have missed it. Last night, I got
a
real surprise--I discovered we’re not the only family in which the
parents have to hang their heads sometimes, and I’m really happy that
all
these people, after not seeing each other for twenty or thirty years,
can
talk, be familiar, feel like friends. I had wondered if we’d feel
uncomfortable or like strangers. Because there are such big differences
between some, but they all get along well. I think it’s really neat
that
a group with such a variety of people can relate to each other so well.
And I have a chance to play golf for only the second time in my life.
Bill: This reunion has been long overdue, and we should do it again.
I’m
not sentimental about going to visit relatives, but this has been very
enjoyable. There haven’t been any particular highlights, just a very
nice
time, and we want to express our appreciation to the Grand Rapids bunch
for all they have done in making arrangements.
Charity (Trudy’s granddaughter):
Q. What did you like most about the reunion?
A. the boat ride was fun.
Q. What else?
A. Playing with Amy.
Q. Who is Amy?
A. The little girl with the pink pants.
Q. Who is she?
A. My friend.
Q. Is she a relative?
A. No. Just a friend.
Q. What else would you like to say about the reunion?
A. The birds are fun. No, put “birdies.” I have a long story. We got
’em
out of the side of the fridge. And we took care of ‘em like we’re
doing
now. And we fed ‘em, and put ‘em to sleep. The best thing about the
reunion was getting the birdies. I’ll take care of ‘em till they learn
to
fly. I’ll feed ‘em till they get fat.
Q. You mean the Vogels have their round robin, and so you want a round
starling?
.A Um … I guess so.
Carol White (Lefty’s daughter): The most interesting thing that
happened
to me during the reunion--and I have to report this because Bonnie said
she would if I didn’t-- when we were out there on the boat for such a
long time, I kept asking my dad if he was going to get it fixed, I said
I
had to go to the bathroom and couldn’t wait much longer. My mother said
to just jump in the water and I did, but then I was laughing so much I
couldn’t go anyway. The people on the boat were hysterical. But
seriously, this reunion is really nice, especially having it at a park
like this. It’s more casual; everyone can be together for a long time,
besides, I like to camp.
Harry: I’ve enjoyed this a lot; it’s been quite important to me, partly
because I haven’t seen some of these people in twenty years, and I
wouldn’t have known them if I met them on the street. I had almost lost
track of some of them. And then there are new ones to meet, like
Shirl’s
husband. This has been a good way to get together, to get to know each
other and visit.
Lefty: It’s just great that we could all get together for a change.
Especially having these young people to keep it lively, although
certain
ones have to be quieted down when the ranger comes around. They aren’t
such good golfers, either. Betty and I found that out when we went
golfing with Jack and Shirl and Harold and Sharon. Also, they had some
problems getting here. John and Virginia got lost, and Jack had trouble
reading the simple map which was furnished.
Shirl Hamm (Martin’s daughter): It’s been interesting to me, after
being
away so long, to see the Vogels again. They are different from what I
had
thought. Each so super and nice. I didn’t really like the group I had
made them out to be. I had thought they were all in the image of
Grandma
Vogel; I had thought they were stuffy, on pedestals, had halos. And
that
our black sheep were the only ones. But I discovered they all have
skeletons in the closet, and I have found a new family, one I like,
other
than the one I had conjured it up to be. I can be comfortable with this
new family. I used to have a Shirl for San Francisco, and a Shirl for
Mom and Dad, but now I can be myself. Now I can take the real Shirl and
put her in there. It’s a nice feeling. Each generation is different
from its father’s; as the world progresses, so do the children I
realize
our children will have a still different set of values and I hope I’ll
be
able to adjust to that.
Jack Hamm (Martin’s son-in-law): I was disappointed not to see more of
the second and third generation here. I had met most of Dad’s brothers
and sisters. Lefty and Harry did a super job of coordination. I don’t
know if they should have also had the responsibility of meals and food.
I
felt that after a short time everybody sort of blended together. The
ones
it’s hardest for are those who don’t know anyone. I have seen a good
blend of personalities here. Some of the people are living in a closet
and don’t want to bring their feelings out, and I’ve seen others open
up.
I think a lot of the family traditions, ones it was assumed would go on
forever, are going to disappear; people will be more open with each
other
in the future, The Vogels don’t keep their sons and daughters informed
enough. Shirl learned so much at this reunion that she hadn’t known
before. Even heard about some cousins that she hadn’t known existed.
But
the younger generation here is obviously able to communicate openly. I
think there ought to be more reunions, getting the younger people
involved, so they will carry it on--or eventually the family will
spread
out and many of the family members will be strangers to each other.
Tobin Hamm, 11: It’s been pretty fun, meeting people and playing, and
everybody’s been so nice. I expected more people. Some of my friends
have gone to reunions, and the pictures they show afterward have a
hundred people.
Connie Uchima (Trudy’s daughter): The best thing about the reunion
happened last night when Shirl brought out that each of the cousins
thought we were the worst of the family. Now we’ve discovered we are so
much alike. I have many emotions about this reunion, I’m not sure what
they all are. One thing I know, I’ve always wanted to be like Aunt
Dena;
I’ve always seen her as the happiest one of all. The big surprise,
though, was to learn that I haven’t been the worst person. I thought I
was the one they all laughed about and talked about, because I was so
terrible. I guess our parents would like us to be quiet about all this,
but we need to talk about it. They were raised differently; they don’t
talk about things that were done wrong; they keep secrets--and that
gives
a false pedestal image, one which is impossible to live up to. I think
this reunion is the most wonderful thing that this family has ever
done.
Already I wish we could plan another with at least a year’s notice so
everybody could come.
Vernon Fletcher (Trudy’s husband): This has been tremendous. Trudy
talks
about the Vogels so much that I almost feel that I know all of them.
And
Lefty and Harry do so much for us, they readily volunteer to do things
I’m not quite up to doing--and this has probably helped keep me out of
the hospital. I think it’s impressive that this many can get together
for
a reunion without any more sorrows and in good health. I haven’t met a
one that I didn’t like, including the in-laws, yet each has gone a
different path in life, and no two are alike,
Personally, I shared the emotions of all three groups--the general
satisfation of the Vogels, the fond but exasperated consensus among
the
in-laws; the preference for honesty voiced by the cousins. It was
interesting, and a privilege, to interview each person, and I hope I
haven’t misquoted anyone. And for me, the greatest delight was the
degree of rapport I felt with the cousins.
Nancy
(Grant's wife)